Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
bring money and cleavage
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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