so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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