WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
