it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
