we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
