he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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