thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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