So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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