Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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