A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
