dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
