dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
