remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
