can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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