It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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