Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
