Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize