I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
