is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
