i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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