either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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