Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
