Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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