im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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