he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
