I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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