So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
there's paper in my vomit.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
