is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
