I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
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