well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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