Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize