It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Alive.
So much puke
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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