He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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