I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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