I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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