oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
