My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
