The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
