So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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