i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
