return my video game
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize