I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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