Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
