i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
