16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
