with your own penis?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I cut my penus on the lid.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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