Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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