afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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