FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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