is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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