We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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