Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
