it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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