Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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