why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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