I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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