You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
