Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I am naked and annoyed.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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