Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
tell your sister to shave her snatch
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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