the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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