Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
