Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize