There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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