im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
