fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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