yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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