Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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